The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
Bring me the winner
Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
Well, bring me the winner then.
They were brought directly from the United States
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
How to treat sleepwalking
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
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